5 things I've learned in the After Times

"Corona, No Lime" by howardignatius is licensed under CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

So. Anything new happen while I was gone? LOL.

​I've had major personal blog writer's block. I was busy processing all the COVID/US election + insurrection/climate change stuff, and also writing a lot for work. Plus, washing groceries takes a lot of time. ;)

Where does one even begin? I guess with 5 things I've learned in the After Times – at least the things I can identify to date.

I've done a lot of neighborhood walking the last two years, along with lying on the bottom of my pool, Dustin-Hoffman-in-The-Graduate-style, blowing bubbles and trying to both process and escape from the hard stuff that 2020 and 2021 is throwing at the world.

I've also spent a lot of time yelling across the room, "Did you wash your hands?" and "Do you have your mask?" and "Do you realize how good we have it?" My family love that so much. I think they wait in anticipation for me to say those things, and then their days are complete. I think they're sad that I don't do that as much anymore.

I've said a thousand times to myself, "That's a PhD dissertation. So is that. And that." There is just so much to process. But everyone – or at least, those who use their brains – know that it's huge. So I'll keep it fairly pared down right now (or at least, it's pared down for me).

• Triage everything. Daughter, during COVID lockdown (even though Florida governor Ron DeSantis lies and says Florida never had a lockdown, as we most certainly did): "Why are you always using the word 'triage?'" Being the good dictionary dork that I am, "triage" is defined as "assign degrees of urgency." Because that's what I've had to do, and still have to do, although to a lesser extent. Is X worth acting on or letting go? I called out former high school classmates for posting something homophobic on Instagram, thus deeply hurting another friend, and then I unfollowed those people. A shared high school experience does not trump (and yes, trump was a huge part of the problem) ugly current beliefs, so that was a yes. No, I generally don't confront people who refuse to wear masks. I leave. Do I need to brush my hair? Nah. But I do need to wash it, so I wash it. There. Triaging. All day, every day. But it's a bit more chill now. A bit.
• My rage is caused by a lack of understanding. I developed a little rage problem last summer. David Banner moved away and the Hulk moved in. I've learned to manage my rage better now. It flares up every now and then, like when a medical procedure I was due to have was postponed because my vaccinated doctor had to quarantine, for example. That's because his medical staff wasn't required to get vaccinated, and half of them hadn't gotten the jab, and voila – quarantine for the doctor. (They're required to get the jab now.) So, I don't understand why medical folks wouldn't want this wonderful scientific achievement that keeps the vaccinated from dying, and protects others. Not understanding = rage. I also learned that rage stems from grief. That's where Triage comes in.
• Netflix rules. So does Amazon Prime and HBO, and just streaming films and series in general. I don't have US cable TV because I am a die-hard cord cutter. But I love watching brilliantly written and shot work. And I watched A LOT of TV in 2020 and 2021. I tried to read more on the weekends, but just couldn't, unless I was sitting outside. So I stared at the TV, and I'm not sorry. I was dead tired, I still am, and it was, and is, a way to take a break. (Ted Lasso was comfort-food viewing.) Then my former Entertainment Weekly colleague Ty Burr launched the Substack Ty Burr's Watch List. He describes it as "Movie recommendations and other cultural considerations from a critic with five decades in the trenches." I'd describe it as having your own personal film critic, and it's about the best way to find gems to watch. Thank you, Ty.
• We are lucky. Oh man, are we lucky. Neither my husband nor I got COVID (but I ought to add, "have gotten breakthrough COVID yet). My daughter did get COVID, because Florida State University was and is a free-for-all. But she got through it, despite feeling awful. (Cue Rage at Florida State.) We are all vaccinated. Like I said, that's a gift. So is our house: We have that pool I mentioned, which is solar heated. Our house is modest, but it has a good layout that accommodates all three of us working from home. Florida winters are glorious. Our neighbors are kind and respectful and supportive. (Hurricane season still sucks, and so does DeSantis. Plus, this is a very shouty and ridiculous state.) No one who is very close to us died of COVID, although we know plenty of people who we care about who have been sick, or who have lost loved ones. I cried for those losses. I am gainfully employed. None of us got laid off. And it's pure luck. So we've tried to help others as much as we can, and we are humbled by our luck.
• There have been other good things. Overall, a lot of people have been real jerks. (See Rage and Triage.) But there are also some really good people doing good things. I feel sorry for, and I am grateful for, all the hardworking (vaccinated) healthcare workers. The delivery people deserve so much support and appreciation. I've learned to be still, and to be content in that stillness. Husband: "What are you doing this weekend?" Me: "I have no idea, and I'm good with that." I've learned that I really, really like my husband's company, even when he is yelling on Zoom calls or trying to talk to me when I'm editing or writing. And being at home just reinforced what I already knew: endless cups of tea, and cats, and technology that enables us to work safely are all pretty awesome. But damn do I miss Britain something awful. I'm not angry that it's not time to go yet, but I can't triage that away. So I watch Bake-Off and have yet another good cry.